Speaking the Truth in Love.

Dear Friends,

While many of you will likely protest when I say this, I think the advice about speaking that many of us grew up with that came from the movie, Bambi, when Thumper the rabbit says, “My mom says, if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all” is problematic. While that might prevent unwanted and unnecessary teasing, and maybe a bit of bullying, as a larger piece of advice about our conversations in the church and the world, it isn’t very helpful. Too often it means we are reluctant to speak about important matters in our lives. Too often such advice keeps us from having “brave conversations” about issues such as violence, race, other faith traditions, and a host of other issues personal and public. The sad truth is it means we neither grow as people, nor in our relationships with others.

Paul gave us terrific advice about how to speak in church, and that was, speaking the truth in love. Difficult as it is to follow, Paul’s advice to speak the truth in love is vital to growing up as people of faith. It is a call to speak from our heart, honestly, recognizing that what we may say may be awkward at best or hurtful at worst, acknowledging that if we speak poorly, or in speaking cause an unintended hurt, we are humbly open to hearing a different perspective on truths we hold dear, or asking for forgiveness for saying things that hurt someone. As a nation we have been exposed to a great deal of political violence in the last several months. It does not help make that different if we do not speak faithfully about how this makes us feel, how collectively we could do and live better, about what we may have to give up for all of us to live in peace, respecting the differences we hold politically, socially, and spiritually.

This saying came about because Paul wanted the mission congregations, he served to live better than the society they inhabited, by being followers of Christ Jesus. Most of his letters when they get virulent are rooted in his fear and his frustration that the people of Corinth, or Philippi, or Rome, or Thessalonica, or Galatia, not import a pagan society’s behaviors and norms into a congregation whose norms are rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

We will have many opportunities to speak our truth as part of our work to seek a new rector. Speaking the truth matters, and speaking in love matters most of all.

God’s peace and keeping,

Mary+